Diary / Jonathan Wilson / 25 June 2008 / 2 Comments

Jonathan Wilson was bemused enough to hear Steve McClaren being described as an "expert"... until he heard that Berti Vogts was as well. Jonathan takes the opportunity to consider Vogts' career and throws in a few anecdotes about the man they once called "McVogts"...

England fans may wonder what on earth gives Steve McClaren the authority to provide "expert" analysis on Euro 2008 BBC radio, but stranger even than that is Swiss television's use of Berti Vogts.

Failed as manager of Germany, failed as manager of Scotland, failed as manager of Nigeria, the former Borussia Monchengladbach manager is now failing as manager of Azerbaijan. The constant willingness of countries to put their football in his hands is mind-boggling. It's the equivalent of two parents planning an evening out, wondering who they should get in as a babysitter and deciding on that old woman who lives in the gingerbread house round the corner.

With Germany at least there was a victory in Euro 96, achieved thanks to the excellence of Matthias Sammer, the diligence of Dieter Eilts in front of the defence, and England's self destruction when faced with a penalty shoot-out. The German journalist Christoph Biermann even credits him with overseeing the (much-delayed) transition from man-to-man to zonal marking. A humbling 3-0 defeat to Croatia in the 1998 World Cup, though, gave a truer indication of his powers. His reputation was so bad that when, in the early days of Vogts's reign, Scottish journalists went to the Faroe Islands for a Euro 2004 qualifier, they found the game being staffed by large numbers of German journalists, all convinced that humiliation was about to occur. Sure enough, they fell 2-0 behind and only just scrambled back for a
2-2 draw.

Scotland hadn't been world-beaters under Craig Brown, but they had at least been organised. Under Vogts, the atmosphere was one of chaos. On one occasion, he presented a bemused press with a team-sheet that featured several players out of position. A little later, a senior
Scottish journalist found Tommy Burns, Vogts's assistant. "Why's CraigBurley playing wide left?" he asked. Burns's face fell. "He's what?" The journalist handed over the team-sheet. "Oh no," Burns said. "I'll have to have a word."

Then there was the squad announcement at which a journalist, noticing an established international's name was missing from the list distributed to the press, asked why he had been left out. Vogts gave a long, rambling answer, explaining the need to look at all his options
and give young players a chance, only for his press officer to interrupt and explain that the player was actually in the squad, and that his omission from the list by a clerical error.

An air of haplessness prevailed, and not surprisingly it got even worse when he took "charge" of Nigeria. He refused to let the president of the country talk to the players ahead of their opening
African Cup of Nations game against Cote d'Ivoire, and when Nigeria subsequently lost, the notoriously hostile Nigerian press declared war. Press-conferences became great spectator events, but only in the way cock-fighting or a public hanging might once have been. After a
desperate goalless draw against Mali in their second match, Vogts announced he would accept only three questions in the mandatory post-match briefing. The first was "Are you considering your future?" The second was "Are you thinking of resigning?" The third was "When will you go?" It didn't take long.

More recently he took up the reins of Azerbaijan. His first game there was away to Bosnia, who were deep in crisis. Their coach, Meho Kodro had been sacked after he refused to take the team to Iran for an end of season friendly (not a political gesture - Iran and Bosnia have a
very cordial relationship - he just thought it was a needless trip at that time of year). When subsequent investigations indicated certain members of the FA board had taken a back-hander to ensure the game went ahead, the national media decided to boycott the national team in
support of Kodro, while 19 of the 22-man squad selected withdrew.

The youth team coach Denijal Piric was appointed as Kodro's replacem,ent and, in order to fulfil the fixture against Azaerbaijan and so avoid Fifa sanction, he spent the morning of the match driving round Sarajevo, knocking on footballers' doors asking if they fancied a game. In the end, the Bosnian side that took the field, was a shambles. Most had never met each other, and the vast majority were teenagers. Still, there is no situation so farcical that Vogts cannot make it worse. Azerbaijan lost 1-0.

You do wonder what insight he is providing Swiss viewers.

Tags: Berti vogts, Euro 2008 diary, Euro 2008 travelling