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A country of Apprentices?

Gordon Brown is about to set up a National Academy for entrepeneurs. He is a fool...

THE Government is so keen to foster free thinking and ideas that it has created a global entrepreneurs programme. As all Labour Party wonks know, a good entrepreneur needs a career politician to legislate for them. And so we have the GEP.

This is a national academy to encourage teenage entrepreneurs. Forget working on a stall, flogging things over the web and making something. Go to school. Listen to the teacher. Learn to be an entrepreneur.

GEP is unique in that it combines commercial flair and acumen with the ability to open doors that only a Government department can offer. Nothing like a Government of high taxation to open doors for capitalists. Cancel that letter to Bill Gates. Hold fast the fax to Roman Abramovich. And keep Richard Branson on hold. What we need to make it big is Government approval.

Okay, it's easy to be cynical. So easy that it's almost impossible to be anything else. Try to resist issuing a loud snort as you read that the Department of Trade and Industry is now called the Department of Business and Enterprise. We don't do industry in the UK; we do enterprise. Industry smacks of work and dirt. Enterprise suggests sitting in a sterile space ship talking into a communicator with people on planet Nerd.

The academy is backed by a certain Peter Jones. He's the tall smug one from the television programme Dragon's Den. He wants to give students aged 16 to 19 the opportunity to study for a new enterprise qualification.

Had you stood before Mr Jones on his show and touted the idea for tycoon schools, he would very probably have sneered/smirked at you and belittled your ideas. You cannot teach someone to have innate business acumen. Unless it can advance sir's media career. Presumably from the government's point of view, Sir Alan wasn't available.

As Gordon Brown said in 2004, "We will be asking why a third fewer people in the UK say they are considering starting up a business compared to the US."

Hmmm. Wonder why that is? Get the right form from the Post Office and tell the Government why, in triplicate, small business has it so hard.