Hot or Not / Editor / 30 September 2008 / Leave a comment

DEAR TRADEFAIR PLAYER:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

On your behalf, Anorak has signed you up to this most noble and veritable of causes. By the week's end, $700bn will have been deposited into your account; or removed from it.

But not to worry because the last two occasions such big rescue deals has been enacted - the New Deal in the 1930s, and the saving of US bank Savings and Loans in the 1990s - taxpayers saw a profit returned.

So give now and given generously. You give, and the rest of the world gives too; or at least foreign investors decide to keep their money in dollars and sterling.

Feel The Fear

But everything will be alright. Governments will bail out the financial markets, and Gordon Brown will do "whatever it takes" to save whatever it is he's saving; because it isn't the free market.

Perhaps he's trying to save us from fear? The problem is that fear is what politicians and their supporters are so very good at invoking.

"Financial crisis: Bradford & Bingley nationalisation will cost taxpayers £150bn."

So says the Telegraph, which should note that it won't it will only cost the British taxpayer £150bn if not a single one of B&B's debtors repays their mortgage.

Perhaps they do fear because they are useless at the details? Here's Michael Meacher, the Labour politician, to tell us:

For Labour to have a fighting chance at the next election, radical demands surfaced at Manchester for significant policy change. Not just a crackdown on short-selling, but action against speculators in general.

We must cut down on speculators. Go it? Now read on:

Not just providing local authorities with social grants to build 2,500 social housing units, but allowing them to borrow against their housing stock as collateral to launch a housebuilding programme for the 1.7m applicants on waiting lists.

So no speculation, but councils should borrow money against existing housing stocks. No, he didn't want to run Bradford And Bingley; Meacher wanted to run the country...

Thankfully, you can ignore the self-interest groups and bet with your own money on things going down and up; so lucky you.

And had you bet a tenner on the Dow losing 777 points yesterday - taking a sell - then you'd be quids in.

And if you did take such a bet, then please see the above pleas and send monies to the usual Lagos / Washington address...