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Graeme Swann is about as good at PR spin as he is at spin bowling

Bat and ball RSS / / 22 December 2008 / 1

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As England continue to be humbled in India, the players and management continue to talk about confidence, enthusiasm, tremendous achievements and staying positive. And Frank Gregan has had enough of it...

I've been on the move throughout this test match, ducking and diving and trying to keep up with all the latest action in Mohali. I got to an internet café shortly after stumps on the second day and logged onto a news site to catch up. I found an audio interview with Graeme Swann which was headlined "Swann delighted with wicket haul."

I punched the air with delight and downloaded the interview and settled back to listen. The lack of headphones meant that everyone else in the establishment listened to it as well much to their amazement - they were all Spanish!

Swann had picked up three vital wickets, Gambhir, Dravid and Tendulkar in a match England has to win to tie the series.

I was impressed, they were three top scalps to take during his debut series and Swann was revelling in the spotlight and very upbeat about England's chances of winning. There was no mention of the score however so I quickly got onto another site and viewed an in-detail scorecard.

As I was tracking it down I was doing the maths and considering what the English attack would have considered a job well done. Anything under 300 would be very good, under 350 would be fine, under 400 is vital as over that is always psychologically damaging, anything over 425 would not be good at all.

I wasn't worried though, I'd just heard one of the English bowlers expressing his delight at his and his fellow bowler's efforts. This one was in the bag, the boys had bounced back!

453! Four hundred and fifty three runs was the Indian first innings total and the England camp were happy. Swann was delighted to have picked up the wicket of Gambhir, sadly he picked it up 179 runs too late! Dravid had also made 130 plus and still the English camp was on a high.

The Indians had made a tremendous start but the English were happy because they had been pegged back before they got over 500. That's a bit like the press officer of the White Star Line who owned the Titanic saying that they were delighted to report that none of their other ships sank on the 15th April 1912!

England's odds on Betfair at that point were [120.0] which proved that Betfairians were nowhere near as impressed as Graeme Swann and couldn't see how England could win. What is it with the current crop of England cricketers? Have they been trained by PR and spin doctors to become media savvy and find the positive in every situation?

It is accepted that this tour is about more than cricket but as the players have already stated, they are professionals who are there to win. They had a glorious opportunity to win the first test but blew it.

They were mullered on the final day which was as embarrassing as an innings defeat but during all the post match interviews only the positives were highlighted. No mention of the fact that they had just conceded 387 runs on a ground where 155 had been the previous highest score to win a test.

Praise was heaped upon the Indians like lime pickle upon a poppadom for their tremendous effort, 'but didn't we do well?" was the message from the English players...

The answer to that is no - you got beat - again! Instead of hanging their heads in shame and apologising for the humiliation they are making the English fans endure they "want to look ahead with confidence and optimism." The team doctor must be doling out the Prozac by the bucketful if they think all is right with their game!

Just for once it would be nice for KP or one of his players to come out and say "we were rubbish and got what we deserved - nothing!' Once they acknowledge the truth and dispose of the spin then they might be able to stop the rot.

They are [55.0] going into the final day to win the test. I would like nothing more than to be eating these words and a large portion of humble pie tomorrow afternoon. Highly unlikely!

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  1. Pablo Luna | 26 December 2008

    My thoughts exactly!

    They scored 453 and we were orgasmic!

    Enough said!

    Pablo Luna