Cricket Bets: Comic Relief's Kilimanjaro exploits and why it is English cricket that has a mountain to climb

Bat and ball / Frank Gregan / 16 March 2009 / Leave a Comment

Frank Gregan gets his mountains mixed up but is pretty certain of the current state of English cricket and has some ideas as to how to improve the international game as a whole.

My wife, who normally loves her sport didn't want to watch one of my former clubs, Manchester City, in European action last week. She wanted to watch some singers and a DJ walk up Mount Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief and being in a bit of a huff, I remarked rather childishly, "it's only a big hill, I've been to the top of that."

There then started a pantomime type row, "oh no you haven't," - "oh yes I have." Her argument was based on the fact that if I had climbed it, I would have mentioned it to her at some stage, particularly when you consider this year is our Silver Anniversary. My argument was a bit weak - I had forgotten all about it! I'd climbed Scarfell Pike, Snowden and Ben Nevis before I was seventeen and in hindsight if I had climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, perhaps that achievement would have received a little priority from the alcohol-pickled grey matter.

However, when each day, week, month and year offer repetitive challenges things tend to merge together and lose significance. That certainly seems to be the case with international cricket. The England players are currently getting hitting over the head with a cricket bat in the press and quite rightly so given the ineptitude of their recent performances. They may slip a place or two in the world rankings but what real impact does that have?

The structure of the game is so crazy that come September, if they have beaten the Aussies there will be ticker tape parades, medals and garden party invitations. Zero to hero in the space of one series for a side that has had more bad press than Max Mosley!

International cricket needs direction, it needs to re-invent itself in order to keep its viewing public engaged. The matches need to mean something and there should be a reward and a punishment at the end of a season. The big eight are in a comfort zone, no matter how poorly England perform the money spinning Ashes series takes place every two years regardless of the difference in class between the two sides.

One suggestion is that the test playing sides are increased to twelve, to include say - the Kenyans and the Dutch. Three leagues of four established teams and played over a calendar year, to include tests, one dayers and Twenty20. At the end of the year the winners of the top group are the world champions, each side that finishes bottom is relegated and the side that finishes top of the second and third tier gains promotion. The side that finishes bottom of the third tier is replaced by an elected side.

There are issues in relation to the Northern and Southern hemispheres and there would have to be some degree of juggling to ensure that cricket is played during both summers. There would be other problems but none of them are insurmountable and the end result would be matches having real significance and teams being accountable for their actions rather than the situation now in which win, lose or draw, it matters not one jot, because the itinerary is set in tablets of stone.

Let's be truthful, there is every chance that on this year's showing thus far England would be relegated to the third tier and be playing test matches against Bangladesh, Zimbabwe and Kenya during 2010. That would get the attention of the money men at Lords and ensure that the current happy-go-lucky attitude be replaced by one of steely concentration and professionalism.

I know you're dying to hear about the outcome of my domestic feud so here goes. The Mount Kilimanjaro argument was settled by an email from an old and trusted friend who would have been in the unit climbing the mountain with me. My wife won, I never climbed it, we climbed Mount Kenya which is the second largest mountain in Africa and my confusion emanated from the fact that you can see Mount Kilimanjaro from Mount Kenya's summit. Story of my life, all my success has been in the lower leagues! England have a mountain to climb in the one-day series but the law of averages dictate that they have to win sometime. A match of [2.2] may just be achievable on them to win the series and get their year back on track.