Vin Narayanan has the 10 celebrities he thinks would make good poker players.

His list runs:

10. Kevin Spacey
9. Demi Moore
8. Scarlett Johansson
7. Nicolas Cage

"I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion." Say the writer: "Now tell me, would you want to play against that in a poker game. I didn't think so."

Indeed, Cage should be left alone to shout at the pigeons in the shopping precinct.

6. Cameron Diaz
5. Denzel Washington
4. George Clooney
3. Natalie Portman
Harvard degree in psychology and a love for math
2. Sir Anthony Hopkins
1. Danica McKellar
McKellar, who starred as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years and later played a speech writer on The West Wing. McKellar has a degree in mathematics from UCLA.

It is all a flight of fancy.

You do not need to be good at maths to be good at poker.

You do not need to be physically attractive to be good at poker.

You do not need to look good in a bikini to be good at poker - and the Milky Bar Kid should put the two-piece swimsuit down and step away.

You do not need charm to be good at poker.

What you need to play poker well is patience, nerve and an understanding of odds.

You also need experience. Anyone can get lucky and win a game or even a tournament, but to work the odds and win over time, you need to know the game.

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Online poker means you may never have played a live game. You have always played online; more at home clicking buttons than touching actual cards.

Is that how it began, sitting at home playing your Atari, a Nintendo or shooting things at the amusement arcade?

Does online Texas Hold 'em poker have more in common with Space Invaders and Donkey Kong than card games?

The Casino Anorak recalls sunlit days in the arcade. And notes a new film called The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.

"The King of Kong' is an uproarious, unsettlingly observant and romantically biased documentary on the golden years of classic gaming. The film presents the viewer with a depiction of aging men trying to defend their glory days through combat waged on arcade games, sweetened naturally by the subculture's glorious predilection for social awkwardness," accoriding to FilmJerk.

The plot - and, yes, there is one: "A middle-school science teacher and a hot sauce mogul vie for the Guinness World Record on the arcade classic, Donkey Kong."

And:

"In 1982, LIFE Magazine assembled the worlds greatest gamers for a photo shoot that would become the centre spread of their 1982 Year-In-Photos edition. Billy Mitchell, who would later be named the Gamer of the Century, was one of the invitees.

"Mitchell, the World Record holder on Centipede, had been tracking the score on Donkey Kong, and knew he could take that title as well. In front of the 20 best gamers in the world, Billy scored 874,300 points, a record many thought would never be broken.

"In 2003, 35-year-old family man Steve Wiebe, after losing his job at Boeing, found solace in Donkey Kong. Steve stumbled upon Billy Mitchell's record online, and set out to break it. He began perfecting his game every night after his wife and kids went to bed, and not only surpassed Billy's record, but ended up with a thought-to-be-impossible 1,000,000 points.

"A tidal wave of media coverage followed, and Steve Wiebe quickly became a celebrity in his hometown of Seattle, WA. He also rediscovered his love for teaching, and regained the respect of all who once doubted him. Meanwhile, back in Hollywood, FL, Billy Mitchell hatched a plan to reclaim his fallen Donkey Kong record."

Watch the film. Play the poker. Relive the moments of youth well spent...

But Jack, 84, was alright. He wasn't dead. He was calling out the bingo numbers at his local rest home in Manchester.

"I've been a bit under the weather lately," says Jack "but I'm glad to say that I'm not dead yet."

Eyes down...

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A row developed. And being a noble sort, Mr Zahib gamely went to Atlantic City to rewrite wrongs.

When he arrived the shop was not yet open. So he played the slot machines to kill time.

And he won nearly 800-grand at the Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa.

Zabib did buy the Dojo 7-brand jeans that she wanted. And maybe even a matching denim jacket to go with them...

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But what when one burns down? To the Monte Carlo casino...

Emaja's owner, Emmanuel Jacinto says the planned centre is 206 metres from the School.

Time for a recount...

Back at bit... Back a bit more. Don't sit too near to the screne - and click here to get the bonus

But over in a casino in Nice, France, they know what to do. Anyone got a spare shower cubicle?

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No, not the Luxor Las Vegas, NV - the Luxor Auto Sales & Body North Hollywood, CA?

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And did you know one other thing?

Some call Roulette the Devil's Wheel...

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The Casino Anorak spots a Correction on the pages of the Boston Globe:

Perhaps they moved..?

Send the monkey from the room, Free the Siberian tiger. Play online...strong>