The Perfect Punter - Week 18: Confidence in gambling, confidence in love

The Perfect Punter / Perfect Punter / 02 December 2009 / 1 Comments

Dan Brown may well be selling plenty more books this Christmas but he certainly won't be on the Perfect Punters' Christmas card list.

"The rest is just irrelevant noise, and the harder that he looks, the louder the noise gets."

The Perfect Punter draws comparisons between getting lucky in love and lucky in gambling. Until we remember that of course it's not about luck but rather state of mind and decison-making...

I saw a beautiful woman the other day, and was smitten in that way that only incurably romantic single men can be. She was sitting in the same café where the man in green trousers (see Perfect Punter Week 8) takes people to bore them with clumsy philosophy, and when she started talking to me after barely an exchange of glances, I couldn't believe my luck. I should explain that I'm currently researching aromatherapy and the effects that it can have on the mind for a future Perfect Punter article, and much though I'd like to think that this fabulous creature was attracted by my charm and good looks, I think she was simply curious about a man alternating between the Racing Post and a book entitled: "The Fragrant Mind" by Valerie Ann Worwood. I mean, who wouldn't be?

So we talked and we clicked and she had definite potential, although I'm currently in that state of singledom where anyone who doesn't produce a Stanley knife within five minutes of me meeting them has potential, and then she said that she was reading a really good book too and that she thought I would like it. And she produced a copy of "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown and I froze and stammered and made my excuses and shuffled out of the door at the first possible opportunity. You can stab me, you can insult me, you can break my heart lady, but the minute you say that I'm going to like a book by that pasty faced, banal little turdmongerer then we're through.

So it was nice while it lasted, and I'm probably coming across as just a little bit judgemental and you're wondering what all of this has to do with gambling. Well, here's the thing, and the thing is desperation.

Think of a long losing run as a long time being single, and think of your state of mind when you're in either of those situations. You go out looking for winners, improbable though they may be, rather than let them come to you. The first thing to go when you haven't been in a relationship for a long time is your confidence, and the Perfect Punter survey which kicked off this whole enterprise determined that the most important thing that you need to gamble effectively is confidence.

A friend of mine swears by internet dating, but all that he seems to get out of it is a string of evenings out with a series of unsuitable girls followed by a miserable journey home and a week of recriminations before he logs on again. And the time he takes chasing pictures of girls who look nothing like the frog in a dress that turn up for dinner is time that he could be spending being himself, being with friends, and eventually meeting the one person that he's really been waiting for. The rest is just irrelevant noise, and the harder that he looks, the louder the noise gets.

Internet dating is signing up to a tipping line, and placing your faith entirely in something that you don't understand, rather than sitting back and reading about the sport that you bet on, watching the sport that you bet on, and letting the ideas come to you, rather than starting each day looking to have a bet, and going out and chasing it. You should no more say "Sevilla against Valladolid is live on SKY tonight, and I fancy a bet on it", than should you go out and spend every minute of every day looking for someone to share your Saturday nights with. If you've followed Sevilla's games closely, and realised that they've been unlucky in recent weeks, and similarly realised that Valladolid have been fortunate in their last few matches, then if the price is right, the bet will organically appear, and you should steam in.

And if that's the only bet you have in a month, then as long as it wins, it doesn't matter and you'll be in profit. I went out with my internet dating friend last week, and met a girl that he works with. I've known him a long time, and she's perfect for him and clearly likes him a lot. He doesn't know it yet, but they'll work together and they'll talk, and they'll slowly realise that they're right for each other, and organically and perfectly, it will come together. Not by chasing some dream that will never be right, but by living their lives and learning, and letting success come to them, rather than trying to run after it at every available chance. So the next time I see a beautiful woman in a café, I'll keep reading my Racing Post, and leave her to her Dan Brown.

You can follow the Perfect Punter and his attempts to find some perspective in his gambling life on Twitter. Go to www.twitter.com/perfectpunter and sign up

Comments (1)

1. Anonymous | 15 March 2011

   Dan Brown is certainly a dreadful over hyped writer but everyone needs to read something crappy now and again. I read Dick Francis novels as well as Tolstoy and Turgenev. You can't go writing off attractive girls because they read Dan Brown. Like your blog though. Good that you stood up to those Roma fans but it was even more foolish than giving that girl the elbow.